My Story

I can remember back to my Freshman year of high school when it really hit me that I had a God-given talent to excel in sports. I realized that my love and passion for being on the court and field might be more than just a hobby, or something to keep me active. My whole life prior to that, I simply played sports because I loved them, and it was fun to me. There was never any pressure, and I was bored on a night I had no practice. I thrived off of that busy schedule and nonstop athletic calendars controlling my life. There were days where I would go from a volleyball contact day, to softball practice to summer league basketball. In between that I probably spent a few hours on my bike exploring the country roads near my house. To this day, I have a hard time relaxing in my free time because I always feel like something could be done. I wouldn’t change a thing about those early years in my athletic career, and often wish I could go back to those “simpler times.” The times where the biggest tragedy in my life was only bringing 1 basketball shoe to an AAU tournament all the way in Green Bay (I’m sure my mom remembers that one:). Strikeouts and turnovers seemed like the end of the world, and I’ll admit, I was the kid who would cry after a tough loss in middle school. Don’t worry, I’ve grown since then, and now handle adversity much better! I don’t want this blog to be all about me, but I feel like I wouldn’t be here without my story. This post is going to be a little different, and lengthy, but to be completely honest with you, I wanted to write this so I have it for myself as a reminder of my journey and what I’ve come back from.  

2018

My freshman year of high school was honestly a dream. I was fortunate enough to make the varsity basketball and softball squads and could feel myself getting better and more confident. That winter, it hit me that college basketball was potentially in my future. It excited me, and motivated me to work even harder to get to that point. That changed in the blink of an eye. 

The summer following my freshman year I was playing shortstop in a softball tournament and was sprinting to second to cover for a steal. The throw beat the runner by a mile so I put the tag on the girl kind of awkwardly, and heard a loud crack. Instantly, a throbbing pain took over. I took my glove off and what I saw made me queasy. My thumb was completely facing the wrong way and there was a huge lump on the bottom. We went straight to the doctor who very quickly confirmed it was a break and I needed to see a specialist. Three days later I was being prepped for surgery and had 2 pins put in. Who knew a broken thumb would be a 4 month long endeavor involving rehab? Well, that’s what it took to get me back to myself. To this day, that scar is what I get asked the most about, and sometimes I forget it even happened because now it seems so subtle. 

I got cleared in the middle of volleyball season sophomore year. I was feeling good and relieved that I had made it through this little setback.I finished out the season and was really just looking ahead to basketball. I felt a little more pressure to perform well because of the interest college coaches were showing. The season started off really strong, I was executing well and our team was a lot of fun. December 4, 2018. The day I first experienced what it was like to feel like everything was falling apart. We were playing a non-conference game and I jumped for a steal off of an inbound and heard the dreaded POP on the landing. They say when you tear your ACL you know in that instant what you did. I can attest to that, the second I realized the pop and pain was in my knee, I knew my ACL was gone. I was a mess more so because of the thoughts in my head than the pain itself. I walked off the court and I couldn’t tell you what happened after that, it’s all a blur. What I do remember is the one thought spiraling in my head- I’m never playing college basketball after this. Little did I know, this was just the beginning.

After an MRI and many doctor visits, it was confirmed I had torn my right ACL and Meniscus. I had surgery right before Christmas, and began the long grind of rehab. ACL recovery has come a long way over the years. I knew of plenty of athletes who had suffered this injury and spent almost a year recovering. My doctor believed I could recover in 6 months, and that’s exactly what I did. I treated rehab as my new sport, and was very dedicated to that process. The 2 trainors I worked with were so incredible and made rehab fun. It was very sport specific, and also challenged me. They also focused a lot on the mental aspect of the recovery which now looking back I realize how important that was. Up until this injury, mental health wasn’t really something I thought a lot about. I want to interrupt the story to say- Check in on the people in your life, especially the ones going through things like injuries or loss or whatever it might be. But also the people who seem to be thriving. I know how hard it can be to admit your struggling and bring it up to someone. A simple “how are you really doing” meant a lot to me from those who supported me in my recovery process. Tough stuff is not meant to go through alone or with a smile on your face, and I’m really thankful I learned that at such a young age, and had people to remind me of that through the years.

2019

Rehab was going as well as could be expected. The worst part about it was the first 2 weeks after surgery when I was stuck in my “makeshift bedroom” aka the living room and had to be helped 24/7. After those first few weeks, I hit every goal and passed every test they threw at me in rehab. Honestly, I’ve never been in better shape than when I was going through those rehab workouts. I was cleared in August, just in time for volleyball season. Volleyball was never my best sport and I went back and forth on whether I wanted to play. I loved it, and loved my teammates and coaches, but didn’t know if it was worth the risk when the upcoming basketball season was super important for recruiting. In the end, I decided I wasn’t going to let basketball and my injury get in the way of my high school experience. I took a lot of pride in being a three-sport athlete, so I decided to play. I was so happy, practices were going well, I had no pain.

I've never been more nervous than I was for our first game. It was against our cross town conference rivals, and the gym was packed. My adrenaline was at an all time high. After the first few points I was finally settling in and getting comfortable. I played outside and finally got my first hitting attempt. I jumped as high as I could, and took a swing at the ball, and the next thing I knew I was on the ground bawling. There it was again-that dreaded POP. But this time, in my other knee. I remember everything so vividly this time around. I was angry. I slammed the floor with my fist, yelling at anyone who tried to touch me. I stood up, trying to refuse help, and walked off the court. When I got to the trainers table I looked at my dad and said “It’s done, I’m never playing college basketball.” There were so many tears, from more than just me and my family.

I was completely devastated but after the initial shock I remember telling myself I needed to be positive and figure out a way through this. I was not ready to give up, and attacked this next setback head on. Obviously there were really hard days, and times I was so mad at the world, but I can honestly say I kept a really good attitude and mindset through those next months. I had my second ACL surgery in September of 2019. I went through the same process, with the same trainors, and had to watch the sport I loved from the sideline for the second year in a row. 

2020

Spring 2020 came around and I was set to be cleared in April, just in time for softball season. I hadn’t played since my hand injury so it was a long time coming. About 2 weeks before the season started, the Covid pandemic began. I was hoping and praying that someway, somehow they would figure out a way to allow us to play. Unfortunately, that never happened, and all of spring was spent at my house. I had to do the rest of rehab at home. The other problem was planning to play AAU basketball that summer, and it was probably my last chance at earning a basketball scholarship. In the midst of all the stress and anxiety, It ended up working to my advantage. I was on a team who really put an emphasis on practicing as much as possible, and had a private gym to use when most other facilities were shut down. I was able to play with some incredible talent 3-4 days a week and get my knees and body in the best condition. God had such a plan here because I honestly don’t know if I physically would have been ready for that high level of basketball when the normal AAU season starts. We played in 4 tournaments in July, and it was one of the best summers of my life. My team was extremely talented, full of great people, and coached by one of my biggest role models, retired WNBA star Anna DeForge. I was feeling like myself and things were finally going smoothly. 

2021

Through this time I was able to earn multiple basketball scholarships at the Division 2 and NAIA levels. Senior year was approaching with a lot of uncertainty of what it would look like because of Covid. Volleyball season was pushed to spring, school was full of masks and daily temperature tests. But I was happy and feeling good because I had a whole year of finally getting to play ahead of me. A lot of people pitied our class for what we had to go through that year, but we made the most of it and had a great year. We were thankful for what we did have and learned never to take things for granted. Senior year was incredible, and full of success. We won conference in basketball and softball, but most of all I was simply enjoying my time. I even hit a buzzer beater in my first game back:) I had over 2 years taken from me, so I did my best to soak it all in, make memories, and leave it all out there. 

Jumping ahead to my college years, I was so beyond excited to get to Bemidji the summer before I moved in. I was nervous, but the excitement overwhelmed that because I was about to begin a road I never thought I’d make it to. My freshman year was full of meeting the best people, working with great coaches, and being a part of one of the best teams I’ve ever been on. I was able to redshirt so I didn’t use a year of eligibility, but still learned as much as possible from the veteran group we had that year. That year flew by in the blink of an eye and before I knew it I was already saying goodbye to my new best friends. I moved home for the summer and was so motivated to work hard and get myself in a position to be a big part of the team the next season. I spent my summer working, and also coaching youth in the area. 

2022

August 2022 rolled around sophomore year was around the corner. I moved into my first house with some of my best friends, and was more excited and confident than ever to start basketball. We had a fresh team with a few new faces and a lot of room for people to earn big minutes. Our very first practice was during the first week of school. I was running down the court on a fast break when I tried to stop myself and push off forward. That’s when an athlete’s biggest nightmare happened to me. I turned around to see who was behind me because I was so convinced someone kicked me in the calf. I took a step and collapsed and that’s when it hit me- I had just ruptured my achilles. My teammates and coaches immediately surrounded me as I’m hyperventilating because of the excruciating pain. I could not believe what was happening. The trainers at school confirmed it and I was sent home with crutches in a boot. I didn’t sleep that night, and went to watch 6am practice the next morning. That day was spent in the doctor's office, and waiting for an MRI. I felt so defeated and had absolutely no idea what to expect or what this meant for me. All I knew was that a ruptured achilles has been known to be a career ending injury. 

I had to fly home a week later to have surgery, and the next two weeks were two of the worst weeks of my life. I had to move all my classes online to remain eligible, so I had a large workload to focus on aside from what I was going through. I can’t even describe the pain I felt the days after surgery. This was by far the most difficult injury I went through. It tested my strength, my faith, and my attitude. This rehab was also not like the others. There was a lot of pain involved, and risk of retearing it early on, so it was incredibly stressful. People were constantly messaging me, calling me, sending me flowers and cards, but I’ve never felt more alone in my life. I was away from what made me so happy in Bemidji, I couldn't walk for weeks, and I really did not think I would come back from this. I put on a happy face and wanted to be a strong and positive role model for people. I was so depressed and unhappy on the inside and nobody really knew about it. After a few weeks of resting and healing at home, I was finally able to come back to school and be with my team. Nothing against my incredibly supportive family back home, but I needed to be with my team and support system at school. When the season finally came around, I was finally able to walk normally and began doing more active exercises. My coaches would do modified workouts with me, I was given jobs to help out with scouting and film. I felt like I had a purpose even when the 1 thing I had worked so hard for was gone. I kept working through the rehab and supporting my team in whatever way I could each and every day. 

2023

Spring arrived and I was given the go to start easing back into practice and workouts but I was still in a great deal of pain. I ended up getting another MRI and found that the screws in my heel had popped out. I had to have 1 final surgery to get them removed. I’m 6 weeks past that surgery and can finally say, I’m feeling close to 100% and have made it through the achilles rehab. 

I still play basketball because of how much I enjoy it, if I didn’t I sure wouldn’t have fought through all those injuries to be where I am today. I’m going to write a separate piece on some things I learned through being injured but I want you to leave with this one piece of advice- Make sure that in the midst of the chaos so many of us live in, whether that be a busy schedule, a hard job, or being a student athlete, you take the time to find your support system. I wouldn’t have made it through my last achilles injury without my family, coaches, and teammates. They were able to remind me of the bigger picture and show me I was so much more than a basketball player. Four major injuries, and a world pandemic later, I still am playing basketball at the highest level, with a whole bunch of lessons learned along the way. It wasn’t easy, but the little wins added up, and I’m looking forward to what the final chapter of my life as an athlete looks like.